Celebrity Gossip, Celeb News And Fashion Tips : hercast.com

I am engulfed in sound. It’s familiar in tone, but when I try to separate it into words, it becomes chaos. It hums — and sometimes, roars — around me, punctuated by the bright noise of wine glasses meeting. Tink!

Eating out is intimidating. Just ordering - no, asking for a table - makes my mouth sweat.

Tonight, I order wine and the scallop mezzalune with lobster ragout - by pointing. It feels so caveman, but I’ve learned my lesson. I made the mistake of speaking Italian at the first restaurant. A mistake, only because I did it correctly. And in reply, came a flurry of songwords — some vaguely familiar because of their closeness to Spanish, but mostly foreign and confounding. I simply shrugged in response.

Mi dispiace. No parlo Italiano.

And still, she looked at me as if certain I was telling a fib. As though she wanted to say, But you just did speak Italian. Finally she gave up, grabbed a menu and smiled.

“Okay, dee-ner for one. Yes?”

Sigh. Yes. Dinner for one.

The roar dies, just for a second, and I think I can hear one of my own thoughts. But then poof! it gets lost again as the table next to me erupts in cheers. Accustomed to restaurants where people make polite chit-chat over dinner, the Italian dining experience is an adventure in frenzy. Loud and indistinguishable - it makes me feel drunk. Or drugged. Or underwater.

But I don’t mind too much. Because the wine is so excellent - my nostrils get a taste before the glass in to my lips - and the food is equally hypnotizing. And before I know it, it’s gone. All the Porcini mushrooms and the roasted pork. Gone. And then another face is floating in front of me, singing words that don’t register. After a moment, the face darkens, then brightens.

“Ooh, eez Een-gleesh, yes? You want something else?”

Yes. Dessert.

(I recorded 30 seconds of ambient noise at the restaurant to share. It recorded at low volume, so you may have to turn it up. In fact, DO turn it up. You know, for that next-best-thing-to-being-there feeling.Download it here.)

This might be the funniest thing I’ve heard in at least a week (that Kid Rock Waffle House debacle still takes the top spot –for now).

Some crazy lady is suing Paris Hilton for allegedly stealing her style! Really! CelebTV.com first obtained the court documents, regarding a personal complaint filed by Nicolle O’Neill, who claims she suffers “emotional distress” because of Paris and swears the heiress has stolen her style, including fashion-related “patens” [sic] and “stiling” [sic] tips.

That’s right. There are a full two pages of handwritten,ridiculous documents that detail specific charges against Paris, including a claim that Par stole Nicole’s brilliant idea to expose her “je-streeng underware (bikiny)” [sic] beneath her jeans and her idea to shop in vintage stores for ’60s-style dresses. Because Nicole thought of those all by herself. Yes, she did.

Paris’s “victim” is seeking “billions” in damages.

LOVE IT!

Britney Spears donned this “sexy pirate” costume for Halloween. Do you think she’s looking for a matey? Because if she stands on the nearest street corner, I’m pretty sure she could pick up a couple.

Do you love luxury shopping? Of course you do, and if you are like me, part of the thrill, (besides obtaining your stylish objet desir) is knowing you got it for a bargain.

Unfortunately, in the high end luxury handbag market, finding a bargain usually means a minefield of second-hand pieces, counterfeits and uncertainty. Online auctions are not a good source, many of the listings are knock-offs, and since you are not able to inspect the goods in person, you are taking a (big!) chance with every purchase. The ‘Chinatown’ knockoffs are a bad cliche at this point, and while authorities are attempting to crack down on these at customs, the counterfeiters now have adjusted to manufacturing domestically instead

Outlets? If you have the energy to compete with the swarms of other people who are shopping for the same thing, go right ahead. Be aware though, some outlet shops serve as designer’s dumping grounds for old, unsellable and returned merchandise. On the other hand, some stores have comparable product created specifically for those shops, or re-issues of their most popular styles based on available materials. Coach is definitely one of the better outlet boutiques that belong to the second category. They use similar fabrications and styles, but perhaps a a slightly different shape or finish in the hardware than their regular retail collection. Do your homework and find out which category your favorite store belongs to.

So where does a couture-savvy, financially conscious lady go to shop then? “Sample sale!” is the cry of any smart shopper. You can keep tabs on when your favorite labels come up by signing up at these sites: dailycandy.com, topbutton.com and lazarshopping.com. For handbags, these sites had the scoop on recent sample sales for Kooba, Botkier, Mulberry, Prada, and countless other designers for handbags and clothing. The best sales are the ones run from the label’s own showrooms, accessible to friends and family only. If you have friends in the fashion industry, make sure they keep you in the loop! You can also call/e-mail their marketing department to ask about putting you on a list if the sales come up.

Are you an online shopper? You can always monitor your favorite luxury retailers for sales of course, and make sure they email you their specials. However, some decidedly, not chic e-tailers have some surprising bargains. Overstock.com (usually known for cheap kitchen appliances, etc.) is currently offering legitimate Chloe Paddington bags at $ 999 (regular price $1895) , a Fendi hobo $399 (regular price $795), a Prada leather satchel $999 (regular price $2680) and Gucci Brit bags for $999 (regular price $ 2100). Smartbargains.com, (good place for inexpensive 600 thread count generic sheets) is currently offering a two-pocket Prada shoulder bag for $729 (regular price $ 1050) . Bluefly.com has some great sales, and throughout the year, it will send out alerts for additional discounts off certain categories. For every online purchase, you can also ‘google’ for promotional codes and coupons for your shop before you checkout.

A true fashion diva should never have to choose between her handbag or her rent… she should always be resourceful enough to have both.

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Cate Blanchett usually favors more elaborate, edgier fashions, but here she sticks to basic (but chic) black, Clark Kent specs, and one fabulous Yves Saint Laurent Downtown Tote. The purse’s black patent finish gives Cate’s look a hot modern edge, and you’ve got to love the gold hardware accents and zippers. Bonus: As Cate shows, the tote has plenty of space for all the stuff (scripts, Oscars, the ush), you need to lug around. Photo by PopSugar.com.

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