Lost


MatthewFoxDarkSide.jpgWe’ve all had friends who have tried to quit smoking and haven’t been successful. Turns out super fly, hottie celebs struggle with the nicotine addication too.

Matthew Fox says he’s been trying to quit for years, but this year he’s actually going to do it. For his kids.

“I feel terrible about it because I have kids and I try to hide it from them - but this is the year it’s going to stop.”

He has a great body AND he’s a family man. Can this castaway get any hotter?

Original post by Sarah McLaughlin

Disclaimer: You know this show’s been on a looong time when the flashbacks start taking place on the island.

And for all those Nikki and Paulo haters out there, your time has come…

Read on for the recap.

RAZZLE DAZZLE ’EM!
I always thought it was only a matter of time before one of the flashbacks took place at a strip club (come on, the show’s got to get its ratings up somehow), but who knew Mr. Lindelof and Mr. Cuse would give us a double wammy of met expectations with a Lando Calrissian cameo! (NFW Chill-o-Meter rating for a guest appearance that puts Peg Bundy and Cheech to shame: 6/10.).

I must admit, I’ve dreamt of the episode in which the former administrator of Cloud City would mystically appear on the island and beat Sawyer in a rousing game of sabacc before smuggling the now-destroyed submarine, but his appearance in some shady Aussie TV show called Exposé as what looks to be a trigger-happy pimp suits just fine too. It’s Billy Dee!

So, after Nikki, playing the little stripper that could, does a few high kicks while simultaneously shouting “Razzle Dazzle” (try it… it’s not easy), Lando shoots her dead.

When the scene is over, Nikki’s grandpa appears on the set to congratulate her on her guest appearance. But then they start making out! Gross!

Back on the island, Nikki’s running and digging and then drops dead right in front of Hurley and Sawyer. Her last words? Plywood? No. Power lines? No. Paulo lies? Oooh, scandalous!

80 DAYS AGO
Nikki and her partner-in-killing-rich-grandpa-lover Paulo poison the old man, steal something from his safe and head to the airport where they cross paths with Shannon and Boone. (Hooray for cameos!)

When the plane crashes, viewers get a taste of what the pilot episode would have been like of the creators actually thought to include these two from the beginning. They see Jack helping some pregnant lady. They watch Boone run around searching for a pen. They even see Arzt, which seems fitting, as — like them — he was another one of the “new” characters.

Soon, Lost viewers everywhere started questioning their own memories: “Maybe Nikki and Paulo were there the whole time. Maybe I was too enamored with that darn Jack-Kate-Sawyer love triangle to notice. Maybe the show isn’t the problem. Maybe I am the problem.”

Nicely done.

Somewhere between the “If we can’t live together, we’re going to die alone” speech, Arzt discussing the merits of medusa spiders’ paralyzing effects and another cameo (enough already!) by Ethan — who’s apparently a Wisconsin alum as well as an Other — N & P go in search of their lost goodies. While looking, they came across the plane where Boone found the radio and the opening to the Pearl hatch. They probably also found a pay phone, a working helicopter and a “push here to leave this dreadful island” button, but they really wanted to find this bag.

In present time, Hurley and Sawyer start their investigation into the death of Nikki only to find Paulo dead in the jungle. With one of his shoes in a tree. And with his pants undone. They also find said bag, which includes a script of Exposé, some nicotine gum and a walkie-talkie, much like the ones the Others use. Hmmmm…

12 HOURS AGO
In what rivals Lando’s bit as the best performance of this episode, Nikki approaches Sawyer about getting one of his guns. They argue for a good few minutes, and she storms off. Sawyer then calls out, “And who the hell are you?!” Thank you, James, for asking what we’ve all been asking for quite some time now!

8 HOURS AGO
Just when N & P accept the fact that their prize — which turned out to be a $8 million worth of diamonds — was as lost as they were, Nikki found some of Paulo’s nicotine gum. See? Cigarette addiction is baaad news, people.

And so, apparently, are medusa spiders. (Why must no one listen to Arzt?) Nikki, to gain control of the situation, decides to use the spider — whose bite can paralyze someone for up to eight hours — on Paulo. Little does she know that when one spider bites, it releases a scent that sends other medusas to the scene. Just as Nikki finds the diamonds in Paulo’s panties, and just as he tells her how much he loves her and all that crap, she gets bitten.

You can see where this is going.

By the time she hides her stash in the ground and makes it to Sawyer and Hurley, she can only muster the word, “para..lyzed,” which sounds unfortunately similar to “Paulo lies.” Crappity crap crap!

STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
The castaways dug holes for the burial. (They’re alive!) They put Nikki and Paulo in those holes. (They’re alive!) They had a funeral service in which they chided them for killing each other over diamonds. (They’re alive!) They began filling those holes with dirt. (They’re alive!) Nikki opened her eyes! (They’re alive!) (They’re alive!) (They’re alive!)

Just when we thought there might be a happy ending here, we see Sawyer and Hurley’s job well done. A gravesite. (NFW rating for what ended up being the most gruesome death scene on Lost to date. Again: 8/10.)

So, N & P weren’t necessarily an integral part of Lost as a whole, but if I were the writer who came up with this idea, I’d find a way to add it in, even if it did mean annoying the hell out of every true-blue Lost fan as they wondered why these two hotties just showed up on the beach.

AND I’M STILL LOST:
When Paulo was hiding his dirty little secret in the toilet (no, get your mind out of the gutter) at the Pearl, Juliet and Ben strolled in. They talked about finding out what Jack’s invested in and exploiting it so as to get him to do the surgery. Nothing new, right? I was hoping for a little gem.

A side story to this episode was when Charlie revealed to Sun that he was the one that kidnapped her and dragged her through the jungle. Not the Others. Okay, so I’m really trying to keep up with everything, but I must’ve forgotten that that was apparently a big deal. She did punch co-conspirator Sawyer square in the jaw, which made it all worthwhile.

Next Week: LET’S GET READY TO RUUUMMMMBBBBLE! There’s going to be quite the cat fight between Jack’s leading ladies, Kate and Juliet.

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Original post by Kate Schweitzer

rob.jpg

  • Rob Lowe will be a full fledged cast member of the recently renewed ABC drama Brothers and Sisters next season. He plays the love interest of Calista Flockhart and his appearance on the show bumped up ratings because America wants to see sex, not just drama between Brothers and Sisters.
  • Lost star, Naveen Andrews says that ABC is seriously considering starting the show’s fourth season in January 2008 and running all 22 episdoes in a row A LA the Fox drama 24.
  • Dancing With The Stars contestant Heather Mills claims she requested to be paired with a gay dance instructor/partner in order to avoid any tabloid stories about a possible romance. Unfortunately she got a straight married guy.
  • Original post by Sarah McLaughlin

    Everyone on this island is connected, right? But how?

    Conspiracy Theory #4,387: They’ve all got daddy issues.

    First, there’s Jack. His dad was an alchie and — as we learned last week — not the most faithful of family men. Claire’s father was Jack’s father, so enough said. Kate’s dad was off in the army, so she instead got abused by her stepdad until she blew him up. Sawyer’s dad killed Sawyer’s mom before killing himself… in Sawyer’s bedroom… while Sawyer was under the bed. Sun’s pop was a mob boss who turned her husband (who was ashamed of his own father’s meager roots as a fisherman) into a criminal. Hurley’s dad only returned to the family he left behind when a couple mil were involved. Desmond’s potential father-in-law quite literally banished him to the ends of the Earth. Walt had some visible trouble with Michael’s parenting style, and Shannon and Boone were step kids in love, so that’s bound to speak to poor parenting somewhere.

    Then, of course, there’s Locke. He thought he was in a bad way when he didn’t even know who his less-than-proud papa was. Little did he know the barrels of fun his biological father would bring. A con and a kidney later, he’s got a bit of resentment.

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    FATHER KNOWS BEST
    In this week’s flashback, a disgruntled, depressed Locke — shy one kidney — gets a visit from one Peter Talbot. He’s come looking for the scoop on his mother’s suitor, who also happens to be Locke’s father. For some reason, Locke still has a soft spot for the man who ruined his chances with Peggy Bundy and pretends not to know him.

    Instead, he finds his dad and implores that he either call off the pending engagement to the multi-millionaire or Locke will spill the beans.

    OTHERLAND
    Kate, Locke, Sayid and Danielle wait for nightfall before making their move. When Kate enters Jack’s house, she finds him playing a little ditty on the piano. Too bad the Others find her finding him playing a little ditty, courtesy of the security cameras.

    Locke heads over to Ben’s pad, which is clearly not according to the plan. When he gets there, he finds Ben bed-ridden and asks for the submarine. Oh crap. We all know where this is going.

    After Ben asks an Other to bring the man from Tallahassee (we all know where this is going too), he and Locke get to talking. We discover that Locke spent the last four years in a wheelchair and that Locke felt his own back break.

    Over at the village billiard hall, Jack and Kate have a heart-to-heart. He doesn’t even applaud her valiant effort at coming to his rescue, and instead tells her that he’s taking the first boat — er, sub — off that island and heading home. Yes, it seems a little harsh, but he did creep up behind her and whisper it in her ear, so it’s cool.

    Plus, Jack does make Ben agree that once he and Juliet have left the island on the submarine, he’d let Kate and Sayid go. Suuure. Once they leave.

    NO, IT’S HANDICAPABLE
    Ben, now in his wheelchair, asks Locke to imagine a box. Now, imagine whatever you want inside of it. Oooh, oooh! Imagine living in America! No, wait! Imagine having working legs! Oh, no! Imagine living in America and having working legs!

    Instead of such positive thinking, Locke decides to imagine a world without political correctness. Then he proceeds to mock the fact that Ben’s a “wheelie.” He said, “You’re in a wheelchair, and I’m not,” followed by a subtle “neener-neener-neener!” He then said, “I don’t want you to slow me down,” followed by an insipid glance at the chair.

    ONE BAD DAD
    Back when Locke had some hair, he got a visit from some detectives with information that Peter was killed. Once again, he thinks it’s a good idea to confront his dad. When he threatens to call the soon-to-be-wife-and-con-victim, Locke, Sr. decides to push Locke Jr. Out the window. And down eight stories. (NFW Chill-o-Meter rating for finally finding out how Locke went without legs for so long: 5/10. It was pretty messed up, yes, but in Lost, we’ve come to expect a little more weirdness. Why couldn’t he have been bitten by a mystical unicorn that has the power to cause limbs to debilitate? That would’ve made more sense.).

    The next thing we know, we’re in a hospital room, the detectives are telling a battered, bruised, disgruntled, depressed Locke that his dad skipped out and into Mexico. When the super-duper positive physical therapist puts Locke into his wheelchair, however, he begins to cry. No offense, but his life pretty much sucked before, right? What’s one more pile of crap on the immense mountain of crud that is Locke’s life?

    Back on the island, Locke blows up the submarine, much to the chagrin of Jack and Juliet. (NFW rating for Locke being crazy. Again: 2/10.)

    Ben, as fate would have it, was very pleased with the chain of events. If he had let Jack leave the island, his people would consider him weak, but if he’d killed Jack, they’d see Ben as a cheat who breaks his word. But now, he’s seen as the guy who let some crazy castaway blow up their one chance of getting off the island. Much better.

    As a reward, Ben lets the sub-sinker see just what’s in that box.

    It’s — who’da thought — Locke’s dad. (NFW rating for seeing Mr. Locke all tied up: 7/10. Now, I’m wondering if the paternal parents of Jack, Kate and Sawyer are just in another hut watching Seinfeld reruns and playing poker until it’s their turn to come out.)

    AND I’M STILL LOST:
    Did anyone else notice that when Tom let Jack into the game room to talk to Kate, he said, “Be careful in there” and pointed to his head all crazy-like? What’s up with that?

    Next Week: Sun doesn’t like digging graves. But it looks like someone’s going to need one by the end of the next episode.

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    Original post by Kate Schweitzer

    The lesson of this episode? COMM – UN - IC - A - TION.

    I mean, you’d think that without the modern time-wasters such as cable, the internet and Boggle, these castaways would have enough downtime to, say, have a conversation. But, no. Instead, when Claire asks what’s really going on, Charlie stares off into space, contemplatively. When Kate and company interrogate Patchie, they actually just glare at each other with a momentary inquiry: “So, the Others, man. That’s some messed up stuff. Right? Yeah?” And don’t get me started on John “Loose Canon” Locke. Whenever he wants answers, he blows things up. And then stares off into space, contemplatively.

    Good talk.

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    THE BOARS AND THE BIRDS
    We open, like many episodes before this, with an eye. This time it’s surrounded by smudgy black eyeliner. No, not Jack. It’s Claire. A gothic Claire. She’s behind the wheel of a crashed car, and when the camera pans out, we see that her mom is lying several feet away on the pavement, by way of the windshield.

    On the island, Charlie plans a picnic for Claire but is interrupted by a very cryptic Des, who all-too-obviously insists that Chuck go boar hunting instead. Just then, a flock of birds soars overhead, and Claire says the first of what is to be many of this episode’s classic catchphrases:

    “I think I know how to get off this island!”

    Apparently, Claire believes these birds are tagged, and if they can catch one and attach a note to it, the bird owners will find it.

    Upon hearing Claire’s plan, Sawyer began to refer to Claire as Barbie, but remembered that — last episode — he wasn’t allowed to use nicknames. (NFW Chill-o-Meter rating for the Lost writers actually carrying a story line from one episode directly to the next, a truly unprecedented event: 4/10. In case you forgot, the NFW is a highly scientific method for determining the amount of spine-chilling shock certain Lost scenes create — where 1 = big woop, 5 = holy crap, 10 = no effing way).

    ONE VERY SHORT LIST
    Meanwhile, Patch divulges to his captors that they aren’t capable of understanding what’s going on. After all… they’re not on The List. They’re too angry, week and frightened. We also find out (again) that Ben isn’t the list-maker.

    Just then, they come upon a clearing, marked off by a series of pylons, possibly demarcating a security perimeter around the entire Others’ community. Patchie maintains that it hasn’t functioned in years. But he also said he’s with Dharma.

    This would be a good opportunity to use some of Sayid’s torture tricks on Patchie, or at least promise him a little action with Kate in exchange for some honesty. Nahhhh… let’s just kill him.

    Which is exactly what Locke did when he pushed Patchie into the fancy electric fence. (NFW rating for Locke doing something completely irrational: 2/10. Normally, this would get an 11, but Locke’s gone a little loopy lately, so I’m just surprised he didn’t strip down and perform a rain dance around Patchie’s dead body.)

    Instead of asking Locke why in blazes he’s acting so darn foolish, they watch him chop down a tree and build a bridge over the pylon.

    A FAMILY AFFAIR
    Now, back to the Hot Topic explosion that is Flashback Claire. She’s at the hospital with her mom and Aunt Lindsey. Things aren’t looking good. Her mom’s on life support with little hope of recovery. But the good news: It’s free! An anonymous donor, eh?

    A few days later, a familiar face is in the hospital room. It’s Jack’s dad! I wonder what this could mean… (Segue into a totally I-think-I-changed-channels-by-accident-and-landed-on-a-Star Wars-marathon catchphrase:

    “Claire [Luke], I am your father.”

    Dang — and I was hoping this episode would reveal that Kate and the French Lady were second cousins.

    DID I MENTION THE NEED TO COMMUNICATE?
    Claire and Jin nearly drop the net on one of the birds when Desmond fires his rifle, scaring the bird away. Claire confronts them on why he and Charlie are sabotaging her rescue efforts. She, once again, pulls the baby card and forbids Chuck to chill with Aaron. (Claire, let’s not use a human being as a bargaining chip. It’s bad parenting.)

    She follows Desmond to the rocky beaches where he snags a bird. Finally, she asks what the eff is going on. Des nods to the rocks in the water and replies: “That’s where Charlie died.”

    That’s right, Des. Don’t bother telling her that he’s only Dead. In. Your. Imagination. No need to share that you Can. Time. Travel. Nah, just tell her that her boyfriend broke his neck, and then explain all those other minor details.

    Claire and Charlie write a note. They mention they’ve been stranded for 80 days (that’s it?), and a lot of useless crap about new life blossoming when they could’ve mentioned that the island had, perhaps, coconuts made entirely out of gold. Give these people some incentive.

    They attach the note to the bird’s tag and let it go. Just as it flies into the air, Locke stabs it with a knife.

    Just kidding.

    THE NEW OTHER
    Kate, Sawyer and Locke (the French Lady was MIA) make their way to the Others’ village. Just then, they see Jack sprinting toward them. OMG! This is easy! Come on, Jack, come on!

    But then, he loses momentum. He looks into the sky. Tom’s in the distance and he’s throwing a — a football. Jack catches it. Touchdown! (NFW rating for Jack totally turning into an Other and for a whopper of an episode ending finally worthy of Season 1 status: 8/10.)

    AND I’M STILL LOST:
    So, who the heck is on The List?!

    Sawyer was reading The Fountainhead. There’s nothing like Howard Roark’s struggle to really make you think about your purpose in life. How is it that this one plane managed to house so many relevant, symbolic books? Did airport security search bags and remove all Candace Bushnell novels in lieu of weightier material?

    On a very obvious note, something’s gotten into John Locke. He used to be the voice of reason. Or at least the voice of sanity. Now, he’s blowing up hatches left and right and causing people to foam at the mouth and bleed from the ears. Clearly, he wants to keep the island mystery a mystery. I’m thinking it’s all to do with the fact that on the island, he’s Alpha Male. He’s got his legs, and he doesn’t want anyone taking that away.

    Next Week: It’s all LOCKE all the time! We’ll find out what put him in that wheelchair and… oh, that’s probably it.
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    Original post by Kate Schweitzer

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