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I hope Oprah didn’t have the sofas cleaned recently, because here comes Tom Cruise!

Tom will be returning Oprah’s show for the first time since he acted liked a loony Mexican jumping bean in 2005, professing his love for Katie Holmes and dragging his then-girlfriend out on stage.

The show will air in two parts for May sweeps, and is centered around Tom’s 25 years in the movie business — that would be how long it has been since he danced in his underwear in Risky Business.

(Side note: Makes me feel so old)

One part of the highly-anticipated interview will be shot in Op’s regular studio before a live audience. The other, will have Oprah traveling to Tom’s Telluride home.

Fingers crossed that Oprah wears her moon shoes and jumps on some of TomKat’s furniture.

Everybody has to pay taxes — even celebrities. And, if you don’t, you’re going to jail. Simple as that.

Actor Wesley Snipes was sentenced to three years in jail, after being found guilty of tax evasion. As the Florida judge read the whopping sentence (which was the maximum), the people in the courtroom gasped, but Wes showed no emotion.

“I’m very sorry for my mistakes and errors. I apologize to my family, the court and the community,” the actor said. “I’ve asked the court to show me mercy and the opportunity to make things right.”

He also had to pay $5 million — of the reported $41 million that he owes the government — at yesterday’s sentencing.

That is so much money that I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around it. Did he bring it in a suitcase? Did he ask, “Would you like that in tens and twenties?”

If they are really serious about meeting women, I tell my buddies that they’ve got to think outside the box — get beyond nightclubs or torturous speed-dating sessions. But no one has ever accused these guys of being the most brilliant or motivated men on earth, so I put together this list of five underappreciated and potentially high-percentage pickup locales. That’s what friends are for, right?

Carmen Electra is giving Pam Anderson a run for her money in the marriage department.

According to her rep, Carmen and boyfriend of less than a year, Korn guitarist Rob Patterson, are engaged. Rob reportedly popped the question over the weekend, while the couple was partying in Las Vegas for Carmen’s birthday.

“He told friends three days ago that he got engaged,” a source told People.com. “The ring is a black diamond set in white diamonds.”

This will be Carmen’s third go ’round in the marriage department, having been previously wed to Dave Navarro and (ick) Dennis Rodman.

Who’s taking bets on how long this one will last?

Seriously, what is the deal with Amy Winehouse?

According to People.com, British police are looking into the claim that the beehive-haired singer attacked some guy early Wednesday morning.

“Police are investigating an alleged assault on Chalk Farm Road at approximately 3:20 am on April 23,” says a Metropolitan Police spokesman. “A 38-year-old man [contacted] Kentish Town police station and alleged a 24-year-old woman had assaulted him. No arrests have been made as yet but inquiries continue.”

The Sun says Amy head-butted the man outside of bar when he tried to hail her a taxi and show photos of the loony lady walking into a lamppost.

She head-butted some guy? That’s some crazy…